Pheeeewwww!! Things are amazing. In February i appeared in an exam, which may change my life for good. It was my dream to be the part of bureaucracy, to serve my nation, to participate in the well being of pauper and to maintain the proper tracks of prosperity and success. Therefore, I chose to take that exam which is called CSS exam (Central Superior Service). It is a bridge, hard as concrete and hot as fire, to cross. In order to reach in the world of bureaucracy that blend of concrete and fire must be crossed.
Well, believe me that waiting is killing me at a slow pace. The result of exams will most probably be announced in October 2017. And right now i am completely blank that what should i do with my life. It has been stuck. Oh God! make the time fly faster………..
Life has played with me in its different flavors. After class of 12th, the solitudeness had grabbed me from my throat. I chose accountancy for my professional life just after failing the entrance test of IBA (institute of bussiness administration) Sukkur. I failed to join the bachelors program of BBA from that institute.
After failing, the only thing i was watching from my eyes and feeling from my heart was the infinite wilderness of darkness. In that dark world, my mind was shut. I just needed an immediate replacement so that i can assuage myself and create a self-satisfaction that im not a failure. I barely know about accountancy. I guess it was in my destiny. I chose ACCA (Association of chartered certified accounting) certification for my study.
The institute, where Acca course was offered in 2011, was only located in big cities and i belong to a village. A phase of solitude begin. I started my journey of living alone. It has molded my personality. The happy face with a wide smile was turned black and white. Day by day i was dying two steps further than a normal human being.
During those weird and dark days, still a light of happiness was glittering. She was my girlfriend. Her name was R—a. I condensed my whole world and imagination in our relationship. That relation was the core purpose of my life. I took her as granted. I might have suffocated her life with my extreme love bondage. I might have turned her life like a bird in a cage. Sooner she decided for a break up! I, who made her my whole world has just left me. My heart was shattered. Life had stopped making any sense. The sucidal thoughts have dominated my mind. I lost 7 kgs. Crying and pain was my only food for the next coming few months. I failed my complete semester of Acca in dec, 2012. She left me in oct 29th, 2012.
At that time my personality was transforming at a rapid pace. I forgot the sound of my laughter. Seriousness was prevalent in my life. I was 19, but was feeling like a 70 years old man waiting for his time to die. Life had turned upside down for me.
The time had come when once again i needed something to make my everything in order to live a “life”, as a matter of fact which i hated the most. However, I distanced myself from everything. I lagged behind from my friends and their developments of life. Because my life had took a diversion. Well, i made study as the sole purpose of my life. It is evident from the fact that though i failed a complete semester, but, i completed my education earlier than most of them in my class…..