Life has played with me in its different flavors. After class of 12th, the solitudeness had grabbed me from my throat. I chose accountancy for my professional life just after failing the entrance test of IBA (institute of bussiness administration) Sukkur. I failed to join the bachelors program of BBA from that institute.
After failing, the only thing i was watching from my eyes and feeling from my heart was the infinite wilderness of darkness. In that dark world, my mind was shut. I just needed an immediate replacement so that i can assuage myself and create a self-satisfaction that im not a failure. I barely know about accountancy. I guess it was in my destiny. I chose ACCA (Association of chartered certified accounting) certification for my study.
The institute, where Acca course was offered in 2011, was only located in big cities and i belong to a village. A phase of solitude begin. I started my journey of living alone. It has molded my personality. The happy face with a wide smile was turned black and white. Day by day i was dying two steps further than a normal human being.
During those weird and dark days, still a light of happiness was glittering. She was my girlfriend. Her name was R—a. I condensed my whole world and imagination in our relationship. That relation was the core purpose of my life. I took her as granted. I might have suffocated her life with my extreme love bondage. I might have turned her life like a bird in a cage. Sooner she decided for a break up! I, who made her my whole world has just left me. My heart was shattered. Life had stopped making any sense. The sucidal thoughts have dominated my mind. I lost 7 kgs. Crying and pain was my only food for the next coming few months. I failed my complete semester of Acca in dec, 2012. She left me in oct 29th, 2012.
At that time my personality was transforming at a rapid pace. I forgot the sound of my laughter. Seriousness was prevalent in my life. I was 19, but was feeling like a 70 years old man waiting for his time to die. Life had turned upside down for me.
The time had come when once again i needed something to make my everything in order to live a “life”, as a matter of fact which i hated the most. However, I distanced myself from everything. I lagged behind from my friends and their developments of life. Because my life had took a diversion. Well, i made study as the sole purpose of my life. It is evident from the fact that though i failed a complete semester, but, i completed my education earlier than most of them in my class…..